darkness makes me cry

to be quite honest, im might as well die. i didnt even get to go and see m. i supose i should tell you why. its because of my idiotic brother. basically, i am sick to death of him, i had THREE, may i just say again THREE, of his harbios! yes people i ate THREE of his sweets, and he went mental, calling me a fat bitch, a slag, every name under the sun, saying i should let m get me pregnant and i should move away, he never wants to see me again, and that if i dont shut the f**k up he will smash my head in! and then i have dad havin a go at me, telling me to buy him some more haribos, he doesnt give a shit about what he is saying to me, just as long as b gets his FUCKING THREE HARIBOS!!! i just started crying, i cried at the bus station, i cried at the texts i was sending m, i was crying at the ones he sent back. I cried when i went home and saw my mum, i cried when mick 'jokily' asked me why i was here, i cried when my dad rang, i cried when i was watching soccer am and when i was making a brew, tbh i think i cried a lot, my eyes were really hurting, so then i went to my room, watched live at the apollo and russell howard dvd, then i slept. im not going to tell you what i dreamt about, but im thinking it was what would have happend if i did the opposite of what i did today, some parts were good, but the return home and the outcome were th same, but some parts were mega sad.
but B will proberly be living with dad, but im not, think again! dad wants me to go back down on sunday evening, i dont want to, he says he wants to see me, yea to giult trip me into it, and then i will feel bad, he wants me to bring bens uniform down for the monday, and his pe kit. there is always a flip side to it with them. if he wants his uniform,he can come up and getit, i dont even want to speak to him. he can go swivvell shit! does this sound really petty btw? cuz if it does keep it to youtself, cuz he is always like ot, everyone is fucking sick to death of him, dad says he cant live with him cuz he cant control him, mum says she cant either, then ben says he wants to try it out at dads and see how that goes, then mum is saying she isnt having him backward and forward, so atm, ben looks like he is going into care, thou i might suggest thathe goe sup yto scotland for a week, he will learn a bit of disipline up there, granny P wont take no shit from him, haha, i might say that,
so yea, please dont ask how the weekend went with m or what ever, cuz i will proberly cry, i am proberly gooing to cry when i see lauren
so yea, peace out people!