i think now is the time `to think about it, for the first time

In two days time (27.04.2010). at 9 o'clock. Thomas James Paterson will undergo crainofacial surgery.

...

im so scared for him, he is only a little baby :'( my little baby brother.

i wont see him until saturday now, as im at dads and Mum, Thomas and Mick leave in the morning. nobody has really thought about it too much, well until now. it hit me in science on Tuesday that he was having it done. it wasn't like i hadn't known it was going to happen. but. i dont know. :'(

it is going to be on morphine and will be on a drip for blood and fluids :'(

i really don't feel like going to schol on Tuesday. But ben without a doubt will be upset so i need to be there to support him. i haven't been able to cry infront of mum, mick or ben. Or Thomas. i have had to be strong for them. Mick hides the faces that he is soo scared for Thomas. we all are.

:'(

Ben was crying before we left. When Thomas was laughing and kicking about. I was so close to tears when i held him and he was sayingm "ohhh" and was pulling my hair and laughing. :')

i can't write anymore.

Good luck my beautiful little brother! Love you :')